Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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