I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize