it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize