I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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