He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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