Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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