i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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