The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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