i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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