i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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