Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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