Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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