Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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