mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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