He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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