True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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