Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Too much gin, very little bucket
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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