i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize