Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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