there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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