Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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