I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
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