remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize