Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize