I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
that's an acceptable place to lick
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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