I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
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I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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