It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
How does one acquire holy water?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize