ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
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It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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