I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
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god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
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These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
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