well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
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Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
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Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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