his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the barista slut.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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