i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
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