She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
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Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
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If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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