After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Don't EVER smell your tampon
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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