I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
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i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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