So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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