Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize