wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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