Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
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It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
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It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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