Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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