Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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