My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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