man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
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I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
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Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just had sex on a roof
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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