Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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