Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize