When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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