We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize