she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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