I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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