I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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